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A collection of rants, mostly about relationships and my various emotional problems
YOU IDIOT! August 15, 2005 - 15:23:38
There are several reasons I don't feel entirely safe in your car. One is getting better, you're actually keeping your eyes on the road instead of me, so that's good. The worst problem though, is your fucking turn signal, and your spite driving. I know you can't use your turn signal. One problem is that no one else does. You can't just get mad when people honk or yell at you for not using a turn signal, when they don't know it's broken, and IT'S NOT LEGAL TO DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT A TURNING SIGNAL! I hate it when people don't use their turn signals, it makes driving so much more confusing knowing that people could switch lanes right in front of me, or barrel around a corner with no warning. It holds up traffic when you wait for a line of cars to drive past, so you can turn left at a green light, and everyone behind you is wondering what the holdup is. It's not legal, it's not considerate, and it's not fucking safe. No wonder I don’t feel safe behind the wheel when I know there are people like you on the road. I know you can't afford to fix your damn car, but that just means you need to stop spending all the money you do have! You say you don't have any money, yet you go out and buy movies and cds and $30 worth of fucking comic books every week. I don't have to pay rent. When I had a job in high school, making more money than I do now, I didn't buy anything. I have more money in the bank right now than you do, even though you work 5 times as much as me and make more an hour, not because I don't have expenses, but because I don't spend any of my money on frivolous things I don't need. You've bought movies that you still haven't watched, and you say this is the only way you can not think about your problems, instead of doing drugs like you did in high school. One thing you can do is wait to buy something until you're done with what you already have. We're on the second fucking disk, and already you want to buy another season! You say you're going to get another job, well do it. Stop calling me every day, and do something productive. I know I'm not one to talk as I never do anything useful, and never think of anyone but myself, but you can't just complain about things and not actually work to make them better. Last week you said we couldn’t go out because you didn’t have the money, and then took it back because you were going to get paid on Friday, even though you could use the money for other things. How can you justify yourself doing things with the money that you need for something else? I know you don’t have money because your roommate doesn’t have a job, but if you didn’t have so many distractions, that might not be a problem. I’ve never been in your situation, so I don’t have any right to say these things, so I might as well just stop talking to you so you can have one less distraction and get your life together. It can’t be like this forever! It won’t just get better if you wait it out. In the future you’ll have even more expenses, and less time to devote on the stupid shit you do. When are you going to follow through on something? You had this whole plan on getting in shape- waking up at 6 to work out or whatever, and go for a run, and you still sleep until 10, and call me first thing. I know I’m worse, sleeping until you wake me up, but at least I don’t pretend to have a plan about getting up early and being productive. Why can’t you do the fucking dishes? Your idea of cleaning the kitchen is filling the glasses to “soak” and forgetting about them for a week, until they grow mold in the water! It’s not that fucking hard. Yet another example of using me as a distraction to avoid your responsibilities. The sink is full, and you say you’ll do them the next day, but you call me instead and we watch something, or do a puzzle, or something else that leaves the kitchen getting dirtier and dirtier. I think I’ll go back to my stance of not letting you see me until you’ve done a load of dishes in the morning. Also, a load of dishes means a sinkful, not a drainerful. You can stack them better too, so you can get more done at a time. This is just all making me mad, and I know that I can’t say all this because it won’t do any good. He won’t get it through his head, and he’ll just get mad at me, or be sad all day, or get defensive and try to give empty excuses for all of this. He’s not a bad guy, and not completely irresponsible, there are just some things that drive me nuts that I can’t do anything about. I fucking hate this. - Kitty
Yes....oh yes do I feel your pain. |
