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A collection of rants, mostly about relationships and my various emotional problems
what to do? August 19, 2005 - 0:31:38
Yesterday Sean told me that he was starting to feel like I did right before we broke up. He's feeling like he's too young to be with the same person forever, that he might be missing something because he's with me. I'm doing a bad job of describing it, but it basically is what I was feeling when I wanted to end things. His idea is that we end things when I go back to school. I know what he means, because I've felt it before. The me of four months ago would have been immensely relieved and happy about this, but I'm not the same as I was then. I know why it would be a good decision, and I'm not saying I'm completely against the idea, but the thought of not being with him rips me apart. Now I know what it's like to try to be without him, and it's hell. Maybe it won't be so bad when I go to school, but this just scares me. I guess if we both make the decision this time it'll be easier to be friends, or if it's longer until we see each other again we'll be more over each other, but I don't know. I don't want to lose him again. I know it might be a good thing, but FUCK! A few months ago this is what I said I wanted, but it’s just so hard. We did decide to not actually make a decision until much later, possibly when we’re in Wisconsin. *sigh* - Kitty |
