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P.A.P.E.R.C.L.I.P.
Bear with me. January 31, 2007 - 21:20:48
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this one. or where to start. Recently got back in touch with an old friend. (ex-girlfriend, might be better terms, but we were pretty decent friends. I was an asshole, but that's me. and some mixture of fear of commitment. which is what i thought she wanted. and i was scared. okay, i'm working on it. like the subject says, bear with me. I'm not even sure that's the right bear, but if it isn't, all the better.) Also, broke off contact with another ex-girlfriend. and occasionally i read a third ex-girlfriend's blog to make me feel better about my life. okay, maybe that's where i'm going. Perhaps it's that i never meet any women. or people for that matter. I do long for the days when i had a big list of people to do things with. Money is a big holdback, and not having that many people i even want to see out here seems to make me nostalgic. I get paid less than crap. but it's compensated for by benifits. Like i get to live in this shitty metal box and share a room with forty guys. Forty, sweating stinking guys and not all forty regularly bathe. In the few days of self-enforced sobriety i've had, i find that all that most of the people i like want to do is drink. they suck. especially when you realise that i'm not the only one with a drinking problem and mine is actually pretty mild when compared with the rest of the crew. It's just that i'm the only one who wants to do something about it. I am getting a lot more support around here than i expected, not just on sobriety, but mostly on my application to A school. It's going up the chain of command faster than i thought it would and this makes me happy, especially when i consider that i might be out of this hellhole in less than three months. that would be goddamn awesome. It's weird, because i tried to be funny but realistic with the State of the Winchester address, but this impromtu free form post is actually a much more accurate reflection of this point in my life. please try not to leave comments about how the spur of the moment is always more real than the planned and forced. - Winchester
That said, I read that same ex's blog to make myself feel better too. And I'm glad you may be getting out of there soon. |
