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Ideals shifting... May 30, 2006 - 20:13:56
So today I went home briefly for a short while because I had to get some items for the wedding I'm going to on Saturday. Additionally, I'm going to be gone this entire weekend because I have an advanced campaign staff training in So, at my parents house I ate some dinner and then sat down to read the latest Newsweek. This is the part that has gotten me thinking and thus writing my current blog entry. You see the focus article was called "Rethinking the Marriage Crunch". 20 years ago Newsweek predicted that a single woman over the age of 40 has a greater chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married; now, they are claiming how they are wrong. Wrong.... interesting. One aspect of why they are wrong was the "chance" factor but the fact the women are WAITING because they WANT to, because they are choosing to be picky about who they marry and thus their marriages are lasting longer than others. There is an old adage that the longer someone waits to get married the more likely their marriage is to last...makes sense correct? However, this is were it turns befuddling to me Wrong again, this predictor is starting to head the way of the blue-footed booby just like the old adages that men will not want to marry and educated woman. You see part of this reasoning is that women are getting more educated and thus are more secure in their independence so it provides a greater opportunity for women to be able to change their position in life, such as getting out of a bad marriage, much easier. Additionally, the more educated the woman is the more likely they are to wait to get married. Do you see the correlation? Additionally, they claim that people who are incredibly picky have a tendency to pick on people’s flaws rather than let a relationship grow together wither both people's faults and quirks. *smacks head* Newsweek: "The old wisdom was the more successful a woman was professionally, the harder it would be to find an equally accomplished mate. But that's changed, too. for some women, financial security creates an expanded pool of men from which to choose, whether they marry a starving artist or simple another professional whose earnings or status isn't as high as their own. Those role reversals represent a shifting power balance in marriage, which often results in more-egalitarian relationships in which who does the housework, care for the children or mows the lawn are open to negotiation". Again this brings up another befuddling aspect of marriage. So what’s the final word the Newsweek has to say, “…chart your own course” because if you want to get married then most likely you will. For women AND men it’s a matter of just wanting to get married not chance. However, to make a marriage survive isn’t just about picking the right age, that’s only about 0.0001% of making a marriage work. It is work and accepting someone else because we as Americans are living in a very individualistic and self-serving culture. So here’s my question to you: in a culture that is (literally) on the brink of a cultural change (in every aspect of the meaning) how do you change and be flexible with the outside environmental pushes and pulls while trying to adjust and live with someone else and be flexible privately? I leave this up to you to contemplate but Iknow looking at this data it is changing my ideas about marriage and what my "ideal" future would hold because in the end statistics mean bull s*** . I'm thinking it... - Kid |
