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A collection of rants, mostly about relationships and my various emotional problems
warning- Sean angst herein December 17, 2005 - 12:59:02
Well, it's not as bad as it used to be. Moulin Rouge and the Elephant Love Medly makes me think of Neil now, and drunken serenading, but still there are some songs that just grab my heart and squeeze it into a pulp, like "Come What May". I'm doing better, I really am. There will always be a couple songs that really make me think of Sean, like "Friday I'm in Love", "Mr. Brightside", and the sad lovey ones. Listening to those lately though don't make me actually cry, just a little sad inside. I guess I'd still not want to hear them around other people, or very often at all, but I'm ok with them. It all comes down to the fact that when you love someone you'll never really be over them. I don't know how I'd feel if I saw him. I really don't think I'd be able to move on completely until I was in the same room as him again, and didn't want to run crying. I guess the biggest test would be hugging him, that's what did it the most last time. Damn, just thinking about that is bringing tears to my eyes. Am I doing this because it'll help the healing process, or because I'm trying to prove something to myself? It's been about two months, and I'm doing better than last time. That could be just because I haven't seen him, but that's not going to change, so I guess it doesn't make much difference. I'll be ok, I just need several years before I can love anyone again. Damn. - Kitty
You can still have feelings for an ex while having feelings for someone new. That's just the way it goes, I think. |
