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A collection of rants, mostly about relationships and my various emotional problems
I WANT TO KISS HIM! September 28, 2005 - 20:22:54
Strangely, I don't feel as guilt crazed as I did last year when this abouts was happening. Whenever I think about it, I know it's bad, but I'm not freaking out and losing sleep over it like last year. Yes, it's not as bad as it was last year, yet. That's the thing. It's weird though, how I'm not worried about it, because whatever happens, will. Que sera sera. Maybe I'm just getting more comfortable about myself emotionally. Who knows. On the Sean front, I'm feeling apathetic at the moment. That's far more dangerous than being mad at him, or annoyed or whatever, because those things are all problems to sort out, and then things are better again. Not caring is about the worst you can feel about someone, because it says they're not worth thinking about. The worst part is that I'm so apathetic that I don't really care that I don't care anymore. Lots of danger signs there. I'll have to make a list of things to talk about when he visits next week, but I don't want it to turn out like last time. I don't really know how to go about things. I love him, and he's wonderful to me, but I just don't know how good he is FOR me. One more thing to think about. *sigh* - Kitty |
