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A collection of rants, mostly about relationships and my various emotional problems
Dear lord! July 6, 2005 - 18:24:04
I just found out that my ex boyfriend (the idiot that shattered my heart and almost made it impossible for me to love anyone) has impregnated someone. Again. Yes, this asshole has already procreated, but he chose a different girl to practice his idocy on (because the first one knows better now). I am so glad I did not ever have sex with him. I spent four years trying to get over him, figuring out what I felt and why I felt that way (I still don't know why, as he's stupid, immature, sex crazed, and treated me like shit). The damage I suffered from him is partly why I broke up with Sean the first time, as I was too afraid of love to actually work at it instead of running at the first sign of trouble. I'm not at all the only person he's hurt, nor am I the one hurt the most. I think the worst thing for me is that I still love him. There will always be a part of me that cries out whenever he's mentioned, that mixture of desire and despair that was the form of love that I learned from him. I think it's been a year since I've seen him last. Yeah, those scars run deep. - Kitty
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