Langland's Awesome Thoughts(Extended)

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Am I trying to Too Hard or Am I just not Trying at All April 17, 2013 - 14:13:23

Ok so most of you know, well those of you that I want to know, that I had a Test session with 3M. Most of us should know what 3M is. I think we all have used their products. I have used their extended tape products and post it notes. And when I worked for Shell Lake Woodcrafters, I used their sand sponges they made in the UK.

Well this test session was something I thought I would fail. Turns out I passed it and now my test is permanently on record with 3M. So now that I passed that's Awesome. I now had an interview on Monday April 15. Well it was an interesting interview. I'm not use to have 3 people on 1 person(me) ask me questions. It was also interesting that one of those guys is named Paul. Yes it was said at this time "Paul meet Paul. Oh this kind of awkward." Imagine some laughter too because it happened.

I think I answered the questions right, I didn't really have any questions to ask. My long term goal if I work with them is too relocate to the Eau Claire location someday. That's if all goes well. I have my doubts since I suck at interviews but I also feel a little hope too.

So anyways I sent them a thank you letter today for the interview. I thanked them for the test session too. In fact the nice lady Michelle at the Alley Cats Coffee shop even gave me a free stamp because she's been encouraging me and praying for me for this.

I can't help but wonder though, am I just trying to hard or am I just not trying at all. I wonder about this all the time. I wonder if I have tried too hard and end up failing. I wonder if that's why I lost my job at Woodcrafters because I tried to hard not to make mistakes that I was just making mistakes anyway and that I was trying to hide something about myself I didn't want people to know(my mild autism or aspergers syndrome). I also wondered if I tried to earn the respect from everyone that I fail to realize not everyone will like me. I also wonder if I just don't try hard enough to where it counts.

Anyways hopefully I take the right steps to get a job at 3M and maybe someday move to Eau Claire and still work for them.

Other than that I guess I'm trying to bounce back from the last 2 years where I have had much pain. And also there maybe a relationship on the horizon. My coworker has this friend that moved from Colorado and her relationship with a guy ,whose like 13 years older than her, is kind of falling apart because this guy treats her like shit. Literally because she wants a kid and he doesn't. I should know better being a rebound once but somehow I feel I could treat her so much better. If it doesn't work out then oh well. I need to go out and live my life. I feel I have been stuck in this funk for too long and it's time to finally get out and about and actually live a better life than I already am. I definitely got to get out this northwoods. Oh well that's another story.
- Langland
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Am I trying to Too Hard or Am I just not Trying at All April 17, 2013 - 14:03:12

Ok so most of you know, well those of you that I want to know, that I had a Test session with 3M. Most of us should know what 3M is. I think we all have used their products. I have used their extended tape products and post it notes. And when I worked for Shell Lake Woodcrafters, I used their sand sponges they made in the UK.

Well this test session was something I though I was fail. Turns out I passed it and now my test is permanently on record with 3M. So now that I passed that's Awesome. I now had an interview on Monday April 15. Well it was an interesting interview. I'm not use to have 3 people on 1 person(me) ask me questions. It was also interesting that one of those guys is named Paul. Yes it was said at this time "Paul meet Paul. Oh this kind of awkward." Imagine some laughter too because it happened.

I think I answered the questions right, I didn't really have any questions to ask. My long term goal if I work with them is too relocate to the Eau Claire location someday. That's if all goes well. I have my doubts since I suck at interviews but I also feel a little hope too.

So anyways I sent them a thank you letter today for the interview. I thanked them for the test session too. In fact the nice lady Michelle at the Alley Cats Coffee shop even gave me a free stamp because she's been encouraging me and praying for me for this.

I can't help but wonder though, am I just trying to hard or am I just not trying at all. I wonder about this all the time. I wonder if I have tried to hard and end up failing. I wonder if that's why I lost my job at Woodcrafters because I tried to hard not to make mistakes that I was just making mistakes anyway and that I was trying to hide something about myself I didn't want people to know(my mild autism or aspergers syndrome). I also wondered if I tried to earn the respect from everyone that I fail to realize not everyone will like me. I also wonder if I just don't try hard enough to where it counts.

Anyways hopefully I take the right steps to get a job at 3M and maybe someday move to Eau Claire and still work for them.

Other than that I guess I'm trying to bounce back from the last 2 years where I have had much pain. And also there maybe a relationship on the horizon. My coworker has this friend that moved from Colorado and her relationship with a guy ,whose like 13 years older than her, if kind of falling apart because this guy treats her like shit. Litterally because she wants a kid and he doesn't. I should know better being a rebound once but somehow I feel I could treat her so much better. If it doesn't work out then oh well. I need to go out and live my life. I feel I have been stuck in this funk for too long and it's time to finally get out and about and actually live a better life than I already am. I definitely got to get out this northwoods. Oh well that's another story.
- Langland
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Becoming a Road Pirate August 17, 2010 - 16:31:53

Ok so the title is a little bit weird. I'll admit it.

Well anyways a good friend of mine is serving his country in the Navy. Kind of like me except he made it through basic. Well he was back for a while. And for once a group of 4 friends were reunited for a brief moment. To explain, this was a group of high school friends who often hung out around time and stuff. We called this group the Timmy Squad. Oddly enough we all 4 letter names. There was me Paul, Josh, Cody and Kyle. Now my friend Cody was the one who came up with the name and he's the one whose in the Navy. So this last week we've been riding in this diesel powered GMC Suburban that he got for his graduation gift.

He's actually in the process of fixing it up and suck he had plans to put a flag pole on the top of the vehicle and wave a Jolly Roger. In other words the Timmy Squad would be known as road pirate crew. It was an Awesome concept and I really think the idea was cool. Oddly enough I once had a dream(like a dream dream, you know the one you get when you fall asleep) and it involved myself being on a pirate crew that traveled the streets in a big Van. So it made me realize something. Timmy Squad is something the barely reunites ever and I feel if this crew was to disband at some point, there wouldn't be the Pirate Crew anymore.

So this has got me thinking. I should carry on the legacy of the Timmy Squad someday if the group was to ever disband at some point. And I think I might buy myself a Ford Econoline or Explorer(since I'm a fan of Ford) and pimp it out into something like a Pirate Ship and take it on the road trips such as the California trip we all talked about to go see Cody in San Diego where he's homeported at. I'd also like to gather a group of friends(doesn't matter who they are but I would preferably like to have friends who aren't affiliated with High School, College, or Con Staff) and create so many memories. I already have a lot of things I'd like to do but this would be something I'd love to carry on.

I figure the only way to truly do this is find a stable job that pays well enough and then establish myself onto it so I can briefly add on more and more to this idea and then at some point execute everything into plan. I really hope I can pull this off. I know I'm going to need a lot of luck.

- Langland
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Something I really want to do April 3, 2010 - 10:24:42

Yes I am announcing on the one site I maybe shouldn't since people can easily discourage me and make me just give up due to my pushover side. But whatever because this is something I feel very passionate about. Okay so onto the point. Trae posted a blog about his guide to starting a con and ironically, it was everything he told me before he even made the guide and he told me all of this like a whole year and a half prior to this.

Well to get to the point now and that's the fact I really want to create a Comic Book convention. I want to create something that will last a weekend and have all the Fun I have at the anime conventions. I truly want to have a better comic book convention market there since I loved comics longer than I loved anime and both I enjoy to this day whether it's a funny comic strip on UnCONventional, a thrilling moment with Wolverine and the X-Men, a relaxing episode of One Piece, or checking out a Garfield comic(yes I have been a huge of Garfield and I am not ashamed of it).

So to actually make it clear what the Convention really is, it is a Comic Book and Manga Convention. I really want to do this someday. Now I understand Trae has informed to try establishing a Club with a college honestly, I want to try and fund this whole thing on my own. The reason is because I'm very shy and bashful, I get to nervous when trying to fight my case, my social anxiety makes me fear rejection too much, and I worry too much about how other people are going to try and discourage me. I also want to make this a one year thing unless it were to actually pick up then I would want to do it every 2 years.

My only other challenge that worries me is getting a core staff and that I have doubts of doing. I know I would function to be a Con Director and Treasurer(due to my accounting major). But I know I would need a head for table top gaming, video gaming, events, guests. I would need a secretary, an artist(to make my mascot I have in mind), and also someone who could head the merchandise. And let's notforget a webmaster to design the website and run the forum since Conventions always function better with a Forum. My only best bet is to maybe convince some of the No brand Staff if they would like to help out but they are Staffing a bigger convention so they probably would put my con secondary and I understand that. That's one other thing, I really get nervous when established Cons find out about what I'm doing since I worry they'll discourage me. The other challenge to rounding up a staff is that there are some staffers who are very political and can oppose my idea and easily convince a whole body of staffers to oppose hence why I am nervous. One positive that I do have is that ChAdam Games of Wausau has said if I can get a Con running, they're more than happy to come.

Anyways I hope to get this dream going someday after I'm done with school. When I can do that, I'll be ready. Oh yeah I forgot to announce the name I want to call it. It's Krypt Kon.

- Langland
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I got to be a Teacher March 7, 2010 - 20:26:10

Yep it's true. I work for UW Madison as a sheep milker. I don't care if you guys say only the University of Wisconsin but my paychecks, and the interns I work with are all from UW Madison and they also collect our profit and sign my paychecks. Anyways I learned my my former boss that working at this Extension has led to many jobs and one of them which I never really thought of was becoming a teacher. I don't even has a degree in anything and yet I had to teach 8 students this weekend how to milk sheep.

It was at first something to make me nervous but after a while I realized that it wasn't so bad. I was trying to teach my job the way I know and I actually called the shots with my partner whom I was working with that night. These farmers came from Minnesota and Wisconsin and I was teaching them how to milk sheep. To be fair that already were in class for a good 12 hours already but still it was awesome.

Overall I think I did well but I had to keep an eye of 4 people each day to make sure everything was done right and overall, I feel I did very well. I don't know if this'll happen again in the future but I know when it happens again or if it ever does happen again, I will be ready. So yeah you guys may have went to Mars Con this weekend but I went was a teacher and that was honor I'm willing to accept. Time write on my resume that I have done teaching.

- Langland
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A Friday that felt good February 19, 2010 - 17:57:23

For some reason today Feb/19/2010 felt like a really good day despite it being a Friday around Lent(no meat today and I hate it). Anyways I got up at 4 in the morning and went to work around 5. I worked in the freezing cold but I guess that's what you get when you're in Wisconsin. Anyways I got the sheep up to get milked and it was dark outside and frost covered the ground. Now as I got the sheep, I gazed into the stars I for the first time that I remember, I saw a shooting star. It was awesome. I've seen complete Rainbows in the evening and I've now seen a shooting star at that job.

Now That was the first part and that felt great. Now I went to Rice Lake and got some work done and stuff and then went back home kept my promised on helping out at my Church's Fish Fry. I was invited a while back to join the oldest Catholic Fraternity in the US. Yes the Knights of Columbus. So I was helping out the fellow Knights of Columbus in Spooner. I met a good portion of all of the members there. I was nervous mostly because most of the guys are older men and I'm 21 year old but they want to join and they are excited.

So I helped out as much as I could and I felt so honored and respected to help them out. They appreciated everything I did and now when the time comes, they want to hold a First degree for me. Just so everyone knows the Knights of Columbus have 4 degrees of ranks. The more you give your time to them, the higher up you go. I'm not aiming to being 4th degree or anything but to just have that opportunity to be even a member feels so good. I was think because these men were older that I wouldn't fit in but that wasn't it at all.

Hell these guys had beer in the church. Yes beer and I was allowed to have a beer and it was awesome. Heck they taught me the first thing about their group is that they cook with lots of butter a Lawrys seasoning salt. These guys were calm and patient with me too. I was nervous they wouldn't be. But to be fair this group had a older man with Down Syndrome too which me feel better about being autistic in the group.

Overall this Friday was awesome and for some reason I knew with was just going to a good day.

- Langland
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My Hospital Experiance February 5, 2010 - 17:39:46

Ok so if you didn't know already, I went to the hospital today to get a Barrium Swallow and some x-rays. I have what might be a Hiatal Hernia. What is means is my esophagus is widened out as a 2 way track instead of a one way track like it should be. So I was also experiencing a sharp pain as well. So I went to the hospital here in Shell Lake and it was weirdest experience it was a snowy morning and no one was parked at the hospital and I was the first person pretty much to arrive. Now I got registered and they placed an armband with my name and Birthday.

Now I was told to go to the X-ray room. They maybe change into gowns and I hated it. I had to wear 2 actually. I hope I don't have wear gowns in a long long time. Now had to drink this liquid which was anticipated to be worse than it was. I also stood and laid on a table as they examined my skeleton. I managed to get a glimps of my spine on the screen. The lady was making lay on cushions and stuff as they took pictures of me. So in all hopes, I hope they find this problem and hopefully know a way to fix it. But anyways, I hope to not have to go back to the hospital in a long time.

I guess this was much anticipated to be worse like I was told I would feel terrible afterwards and really I wasn't because I went bowling after. I have a big headache now but maybe that's normal. The barrium however will have to be pushed out through fiber and water and such cause it'll stick to my stomach as it is designed to do so. Also the drink wasn't too terrible either. So overall my first actual hospital experience went well.

- Langland
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Sunrise in the Winter January 21, 2010 - 9:54:01

Ok to start off. I have classes at 8 in the morning. I'm sure that's a common thing for colleges. WITC usually has classes start in the 30's of an hour however so an 8:00 class is very uncommon while 7:30 class is common. So what does this have to do with a sunrise in the winter? I will explain.

I get up at 6 in the morning and it's plenty dark outside. I leave my house around a quarter to 7 or at 7 depending if I have to give my friend in Spooner a ride to Rice Lake. So I live in Shell Lake and I often go travel a good 30 miles(according to the odometer in my awesome Toyota Corrola). Since this is about 7 in the morning when I travel on Thursday and Mondays, I get to see the sun rise while I drive on Hwy 53. Now if you have ever seen a sun rise in the winter, you would know how the sunlight reflects on the snow and it sparkles and such. The sky is like a purpleish colors and orange where the sun is rising. That sparkle on the snow and that purpleish sky is beautiful.

I use to be in wrestling when I was in high school. Often on saturdays we had tournaments at a school about 60 miles away usually(something like St. Croix Falls, Ladysmith, or Superior). I would have to get up at 5 or 6 in the morning to be at the school by 7 so we could reach our destination. I use to take my friend to the Gas station in Spooner and get donuts and I could buy his ciggerettes(he was 17 at the time and I was 18). We often would stop at the middle of the road and we would see the sunrise before we reached the school on time. I often enjoyed looking at the sparkle on the snow.

Now this is a question I now ask myself often. Why are the sunrises so beautiful in the winter? I wonder if it's because I don't see them much. I use to work a lot of mornings at my job and I would see this sunrise often and even then it was very beautiful. I wonder if it's something that I just find beautiful. Well for whatever reason, I still find them to be very beautiful.
- Langland
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My date with an Awesome Girl January 16, 2010 - 19:57:41

Ok so she might not have saw it as a date but I like to call it that. She had 2 kids she was babysitting and I helped her out. We were in Eau Claire. I bought lunch at Red Robins. We saw The Princess and the Frog.

Yes it was a fun day. We hung out at the mall and enjoy ourselves. Now I really hope I can create a spark here. I really like this girl. She has an awesome personality. We have things in common like we both love Shin Chan and we both are Catholic.

She's also pretty. I kid you not. She is a very beautiful too. Anyways I think the day went well. There were a few moments and such but I feel overall I had a good. She even said at the end that we should hangout again and I really hope she is serious.

This girl actually makes me smile a lot now a days. I seem to have so much shit in my life and for once if I could get a nice break like this to happen, it would make me feel much better. Maybe I wouldn't have to constantly fish for insults or try to make people hate just so I can feel normal the next day. I know it's a weird and maybe terrible habit but insults help me fight depressed moments.

So here's to hoping I can hang out again with this Awesome girl and here's to hoping that she'll have feelings for me too.

- Langland
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