A Pirate's Life for Me

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P.A.P.E.R.C.L.I.P.

So It's been a while. February 25, 2007 - 2:57:43

Okay, I haven't posted in forever because there's nothing to post.

Never, ever, unless you are imminently dying should you think or say that it can't get any worse. (And even if you're dying, probably shouldn't think that either. I don't really know what happens after that, but at least in my case if the christians are right, i'm fucked.)

We went from working until our work was done and getting off at about 1 or 2 pm to working from 7am until 4pm every day, whether we have work to do or not, and then in this past week, we've been working form 7am until 9pm. I shit you not.

Really, this just flat out fucking sucks. I want off this ship very badly.

- Winchester
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Oh, how i wish. February 22, 2007 - 2:42:58

If you have ever worked an 18 hour day, then you know how i feel. this is my third in a row. FTN.

So, Paperclip. People Against People Ever Reenlisting Civilian Life Is Prefrerred.

I hate this. more than anyone can imagine.

and tim is looking for a fight. i gotta go stop this.

later.
- Winchester
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It's really only fair to confess. February 8, 2007 - 0:25:01

I really have a huge crush on Kari from Mythbusters. Yes, i sound like a 12 year old nerd. so?

Also, to update I've been sober for a week and a half now. I'm not trying to turn this into an AA blog, just thought I should tell someone.

I'm finding i'm no more compelled to drink than i am compelled to drive nails through my hands, so I think that's a good sign. We'll just have to see how this plays out. Also, alcohol is everywhere in this society. Are people really so bad off that they need a constant reminder to drink their way out?

But yeah, Kari. Totally hot.

- Winchester
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Bear with me. January 31, 2007 - 21:20:48

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this one. or where to start.

Recently got back in touch with an old friend. (ex-girlfriend, might be better terms, but we were pretty decent friends. I was an asshole, but that's me. and some mixture of fear of commitment. which is what i thought she wanted. and i was scared. okay, i'm working on it. like the subject says, bear with me. I'm not even sure that's the right bear, but if it isn't, all the better.)

Also, broke off contact with another ex-girlfriend. and occasionally i read a third ex-girlfriend's blog to make me feel better about my life. okay, maybe that's where i'm going.

Perhaps it's that i never meet any women. or people for that matter. I do long for the days when i had a big list of people to do things with. Money is a big holdback, and not having that many people i even want to see out here seems to make me nostalgic.

I get paid less than crap. but it's compensated for by benifits. Like i get to live in this shitty metal box and share a room with forty guys. Forty, sweating stinking guys and not all forty regularly bathe.

In the few days of self-enforced sobriety i've had, i find that all that most of the people i like want to do is drink. they suck. especially when you realise that i'm not the only one with a drinking problem and mine is actually pretty mild when compared with the rest of the crew. It's just that i'm the only one who wants to do something about it. I am getting a lot more support around here than i expected, not just on sobriety, but mostly on my application to A school. It's going up the chain of command faster than i thought it would and this makes me happy, especially when i consider that i might be out of this hellhole in less than three months. that would be goddamn awesome.

It's weird, because i tried to be funny but realistic with the State of the Winchester address, but this impromtu free form post is actually a much more accurate reflection of this point in my life.

please try not to leave comments about how the spur of the moment is always more real than the planned and forced.
- Winchester
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Commitment to sobriety. January 29, 2007 - 10:15:36

I cannot handle alcohol. I have had too many instances of drunken, embarrassing behaviour to avoid this point any longer.

As of this day, this hour this minute, i am commited to not drinking. I am commited to sobriety.

Please, lend any and all support that you can.

Because God knows that I need it in the worst kind of way.
- Winchester
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State of the Winchester Adress January 28, 2007 - 2:28:16

    27 Jan, 2007

    My fellow Winchestrians,

    Today we stand at a momentous point in the history of our great nation. Moving forward at this point is no longer our desire, it is our need. To this end, we have thouroughly researched the historical logs and have formulated a plan of action that should be a definite means to our ends.

    As of late, we have met with several dissapointments. Job satisfaction, average income and overall morale are at all time lows for most Winchestonians, and our foreign relations have been slipping in every concievable aspect.

    To improve on these aspects, we have isolated the five main problems in the life of an average Winchesterite:

My job sucks.
I spend far too much time dwelling on past mistakes
Maybe i do drink too much
I really have no idea what to do with my life
It would really be nice to have sex again before i die

We have examined each of these points and after weighing the pros and cons, examining the ins and outs, determining the best course of action, as will now be carefully laid out before you.

The life of a deck seaman is generally very crappy and nobody really is willing to help him get out of it, even though the navy states that it is very easy to strike out of deck. This is clearly a lie, perpetuated by a bunch of jerkoffs. Since we Winchestens are obviously on our own, we took the nessicary steps to put in an application to the Class "A" school for Mass Communications. (MC) This is a job, that based on the little reliable intelligence we have, is very simple to do, and doesn't require standing watch or working ridiculous hours. We believe, that if the application is accepted, the job satisfaction rating will increase greatly.
It is only natural for one to examine the past, as it is key to who we are today, both as individuals and as a nation. However, when this examination of the past becomes near obsessive and noticiably affects a number of aspects of life, it is only appropriate to step away and focus on the future. In the hard times ahead of us, we must do our best to not reexamine the road that led us here, instead we must pay close attention to the road out of our current predicament.
Yes, you do.
Ther will always be considerable doubt in one's life as to what should be made of a life of limited length, and few realistic possiblities. As children we all wanted to grow up to be the Firefighting Astronaut Pirate, but the time has come to accept that we will never be a Firefighting Astronaut Pirate. It is nessicary to nurture the dreams of children, but they all grow up at some point and have to get a real job. To this end, we will begin to study communications again, and this time with a renewed interest in actually making it work. The acceptance of the application to MC "A" school would greatly help this along.
Recently, we have had very rocky foreign relations. We have been led to believe things that we simply not true. At times such as these, we need to examine what it is that we can resonably expect in future relations and what it is that we need to give and offer to give to make such endevours successful. That being said, As i have no idea how i ever managed to have sex in the first place, i really have no idea how to manage to make it happen again.

In closing, I'd like to say that we are a great people. Facing the obvious and overt problems of today is no more difficult than anything else we have ever accomplised and by drawing strength from our allies, both old and new, we can prevail over any situations as they arise. Oh, and by the way, I'm sending 21,500 troops to Iraq.

Goodnight.

- Winchester
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i really need to stop doing stupid crap like this. January 25, 2007 - 0:27:09

I'm really not going to explain that subject line, so feel free to leave early.

I hate my past. it happened, but it refuses to leave me alone.

and now it's robbing me of precious sleep.
- Winchester
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Okay, that's better. January 21, 2007 - 18:34:52

Talked to tim, and assuaged my worried mind.

He's not thinking about suicide, he's just decided to try and change his life. one chief point was play video games less, get out and socialize more. so now i'll socialize less and play video games more.

Also, in an unrelated note, Last night i looked back on my livejournal entries from when i was dealing with a sucidal max, and one thing lead to another and i ended up on heather's blog. And oh man, that shit is hilarious. every time i think that i don't have my life together, i think i'll just go check that out and remind myself of how well i'm actually making out.
- Winchester
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I never thought i'd be so worried about a free Xbox. January 21, 2007 - 0:18:13

So i woke up this morning, hungover. I still live on the ship, and i had duty today, so i woke up cold, sore and hungover.

Anyways, My friend Tim had gotten back from leave the night before and i saw him in the berthing. We talk for like two seconds and then he just offers his xbox and controllers to me for free. Not being dumb, i accept.

Although, i'm beginning to question the intelligence involved here.

So i tell Tim great, just throw it on my rack, i really need to wash the alcohol smell off me. I go shower, and then proceed about my day.

Twelve hours later, it hits me very quickly. How he said that his leave sucked, how he didn't want to talk about it, giving away his xbox for no reason (I asked if he got a 360 or what, and his response was just, "No, I don't need it anymore.")

So now I'm very worried.

From Department of the Navy Suicide Incident Report (DONSIR): Summary of 1999-2000 Findings:

"This is the second annual technical report on suicide incidence within the Department of the Navy (DoN). The intent is to provide line and medical personnel with information on DON suicide trends and to assist leaders in improving suicide prevention efforts. In 1999 and 2000, 133 DON personnel died by suicide (83 Navy and 50 Marine Corps). Most DON suicides were white males, under 25 years old, and unmarried, corresponding to DON population proportions. Most often the method was by a firearm, while off-duty, alone at home. The most frequently reported potential risk factor was a romantic-relationship problem, especially among decedents who had been deployed within 3 years prior. The second most frequent risk factor was a job stressor. These data establish baselines for monitoring significant suicide risk factors for active-duty Sailors and Marines."

Tim is a single 21 year old white male. He's told me about his numerous troubles with a girl back home before. Our ship just returned from deployment in December and Tim was also recently promoted to Petty Officer, 3rd class.

So you can understand. I couldn't find him tonight, and can't leave the ship to go looking for him, so i hope i can catch him tomorrow.
- Winchester
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