So yesterday was National Coming Out Day, and like most things with my queerness I have an odd relationship with it. I'm nonbinary genderqueer, but I spent most of my 39 years on this earth deeply in the closet.
A good chunk of that time was because I honestly lacked the vocabulary for what I was. But even when I knew the words, I still kept it to myself. I never had a single "coming out" because of it. I first told my wife. Then I later told a few friends. Then years later I finally told my family... sort of.
A year before I came out to my family I ended up in a conversation about nonbinary identities, and my father did what he sometimes does when confronted with new ideas outside his experience - demand excessive citations to an occasionally emotionally exhausting level.
(It's not that he's unwilling to learn, but you kind of have to specifically, point by point walk him through it.)
He didn't know that the conversation was a canary in a coal mine, and I literally put it away for a year and a half. It got to the point where I was tired of hiding something that big day to day though, and I knew I needed to tell my family before I was public about it.
So I told my mom.
Her response was "Do you want me to tell your Dad for you and instruct him not to ask any follow up questions or bug you about it?"
I said yes.
A few months later I quietly updated all of my social media and website bios to reflect it. While I prefer gender neutral pronouns, masculine ones don’t bother me at all so I never made a big deal about it. Frankly I'm pretty pronoun indifferent most days.
But I also didn't make a big deal out of it because the imposter syndrome roots deeply into my bones. I spent so long in the closet I don't know if I'll ever fully feel comfortable claiming that I'm a part of the LGBTQ+ community - even though I am.
I didn't completely come out until I was 37.
And I wish I'd done it sooner.
(Also, back when I had a band we actually played a concert at UW-Eau Claire's Coming Out Day event. That was 11 years ago. Wow. )
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I saw one of those "most famous cryptids from each state" lists going around, and I was disappointed to see Indiana's item was yet again the Beast of Busco. And I mean, it's a good choice -- but it's far from my favorite Indiana cryptid. That will always be, for me, the Crawfordsville Monster.
And right now I'm going to tell you about it.
The Crawfordsville monster was, as you'd expect, sighted in Crawfordsville, IN. I used to live a half hour away from there, and it's your average Indiana town. They like to brag about how Lew Wallace wrote Ben Hur there.
Will Shortz, the NYT crossword puzzle guy, is from there.
The monster was first spotted in 1891 by a couple of ice delivery guys one night. They described it as a "horrible apparition" hovering in the air over them and it freaked them the shit out.
The local paper (because of course this made the local paper) said it was pure white, had no definite shape, was 18 feet long and 8 feet wide, and was moving through the air via pairs of "side fins."
Also it had one flaming eye, because of course it did.
Hundreds eventually claimed to have seen the monster, and like a lot of these things, the stories got more elaborate. News spread first to Indianapolis and even made the papers in New York.
It was wild.
A couple of guys (John Hornbeck and Abe Hernley) decided to track down the beast, because of course they did. And, amazingly, they found it and followed it around town.
It turns out it was a flock of birds.
Specifically it was a flock of killdeer, which have white underfeathers. Crawfordsville had recently installed electric street lights which confused the crap out of the birds and were hovering around town en masse.
And so Indiana's best cryptid story, in my mind, is the time Crawfordsville, IN freaked out about a flock of super confused birds.
And more people should know about it.
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(A version of this originally appeared on my tumblr)
A couple of weeks ago had a guy come up to my table at Coulee Con and told me how great he thought comicsgate was, and I honestly had to work so hard not to yell at him. And I mean, this guy had terrible opinions, and I pointed out that comics have always been political (like have these people never read Captain America or the X-men?) but a couple of things struck me.
Like this was a pretty sociable guy, but he showed no indication of seeing how uncomfortable I was. Like my whole body language changed. He just didn't give a shit. It never occurred to him that I might disagree with him.
(I mean, he saw me as another straight guy at a con - most people outside the LGBTQ+ community aren't going to recognize the genderqueer pride flag that was plastered across my shirt)
What was weird about the experience though was that he was telling me about some comics he liked. It wasn't like dealing with the trolls you usually end up with online. He wasn't trying to be a bad dude. He wasn't into this stuff because he knew it would piss off "SJWs." I don't think that thought ever even occurred to him.
He was just into some comics that happen to be made by some gross and awful people. But since he's not the target of those people's hate, he just dismisses it.
It's literally privilege in action.
He can sit out "politics" because his very existence isn't politicized.
And I told him that. I hoped he'd listen.
He did not.
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I just had a dream where I was pitching a reboot of/sequel to Quantum Leap.
I need to share the concept.
Our lead is Samantha Beckett, and the year is roughly nowish. She's the daughter of Scott Bakula's Sam Beckett (obviously), and we can just retcon that in as never being mentioned (we'll say she was at boarding school in 1999 during The Leap Back or something). We all remember that her father, Bakula's Sam, never came home -- but because he's been time traveling for so long, he's irrevocably altered the timeline. In the new one that exists, there was no time accelerator built, no project. It's our world technologically and Bakula's Sam just vanished one day.
Samantha became a quantum physicist, and is a brilliant one at that. One day though, she finds a mysterious package. It's the handlink left in 1945 in the episode The Leap Back. When she touches it, her childhood memories of seeing her father's Quantum Leap project in construction flood back from the other timeline.
She remembers being told her father was lost in time.
Samantha is on a mission. She's going to find her father and bring him home. She knows the science well enough (having already co-authored several papers on "the self repairing timeline theory") and now remembers some key pieces from her father's project to build a functional Quantum accelerator. She reaches out to her grad school mentor (who didn't have a name in the dream, but I'll call Ed here) for help. He's gruff, cantankerous, but emotionally supportive.
He thinks she's nuts until she shows him the math.
He's going to be her Al.
If the show can afford it (which was being debated in the dream) they find actual Al too. He's a retired Navy Admiral who has no idea what's going on until he touches the handlink. Then, like Samantha, he regains his memory. Al uses his Navy connections to find funding for the project -- and signs on to save the best friend he forgot he had. Al will remain back at the accelerator, rarely be in episodes, and mostly stay off screen.
And Samantha Beckett steps into the quantum accelerator, to set right what once went wrong, and (budget permitting a Scott Bakula appearance) save her father.
Whoever owns the rights, call me.
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So I know I haven't posted much lately, but that's largely because I've been spending a lot of my time producing a new Actual Play roleplaying game podcast Stormwood & Associates
for Nerd & Tie.
Long time readers of my blog (the few of you who still exist) will immediately notice that Stormwood & Associates
is using the Super Awesome Action Heroes rules I came up with over a decade ago. It's a modern fantasy campaign, and I'm honestly really excited about it so far. Besides myself, the game features Nick, Gen, and my good friend Kyle Johnson. GM duties kind of rotate among us (though I'm doing a little more often just because my sessions are driving the main story).
We're putting out new episodes of the show every Friday, and you can (of course) find us on iTunes
, Spotify, Stitcher
, or anything that can accept an RSS feed
Please consider listening, it's super fun.
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Right now I'm sitting in a Burger King, waiting to move.
I was in a small car accident a few weeks ago (no injuries, just vehicle damage). Because the auto shops in town were all backed up, the earliest I could get it in was today – the day before No Brand Con.
Which I help run.
Anywho, I arranged a rental car, but while I dropped off my Versa at 9am, I can’t pick up the rental until noon, because the car rental place wanted to charge me like fifty bucks to move the time earlier even by two hours.
Which I am not about to pay for.
So here I sit, waiting. I have a lot to do, but I can’t really get started. I don’t have a car to load things in yet. I can’t do steps seven through twelve when I’m stalling on step one. So here I sit, anxiously waiting, unable to do anything yet.
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So long time readers of this site know that I used to write a lot of articles on Witchcraft and Wicca. As I've split off content production on to different sites though, that's kind of the one thing that hasn't been brought along. Something personal? It's here. Something nerdy? Nerd & Tie
gets it. Have a fun convention story? I incorporate it into UnCONventional
. But my witchcraft stuff? Uh... maybe my Tumblr
Well not so much anymore.
On Saturday, which is also Mabon, the first episode of Bullshit-Free Witchcraft
launches. It'll be a monthly show, but I'm going to be releasing the first three episodes weekly right away... with the fourth coming out a few weeks after (near Samhain). The show is my occasionally snarky (but still serious) take on the modern Witchcraft movement, and I think anyone interested in Witchcraft will enjoy it.
Probably. So, y'know, consider looking at it.
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So I went to Geek.kon this year, and it was a weird time. Like 90% of my friends who usually go decided to sit this year out, so it was a bit more of a lonely experience than that con usually is for me.
That's not to say it was a bad time or I didn't see friends -- like I got to talk to some people I rarely see, and I had a lot of fun.
It's definitely a slightly different con now -- but with the mass walkout of a lot of people including a lot of veteran staffers and their old security team, it was obvious that the con is going to have some adjustment pains -- people are having to learn to do things that others always took care of. I have a lot of nitpicks, but I told the staff all of them... so... hopefully they listened?
It's hard to tell if someone is hearing me or just being polite when I throw unsolicited advice at them.
That's not to say there weren't improvements this year too. I like the new vendor layout better (though adding full height pipe and drape to the two middle islands would make the room a little less overwhelming), as it got rid of the "dead aisle" in the old artist alley (people weren't spending as much I hear -- but I think the fact that the city is mid-natural disaster is a significant component of that). Registration FINALLY works well now too -- they used to have a hell of a time with long wait-times, but it's finally fixed. Like I can't even begin to explain how much better that was this year -- it's almost shocking.
Attendance was up this year, which is also good for the event.
Honestly, I don't blame the people who walked out for leaving or even staying away -- I would have probably done the same in their shoes. But the fact is what happened is in the past, and there's still a lot of good here.
I didn't think I'd say this, but I have a lot of hope for Geek.kon's future.
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