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Last Thoughts For the Evening... | |
Posted Oct 28, 2005 - 1:16:18
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 Some nights, you feel introspective. Some nights, you take stock and say "Why am I doing these things... these simple, simple things."
I honestly don't know some days.
I feel like I'm not taken seriously. I hide sides of myself that come out so naturally in other settings. I feel stunted by my expression, boxed into a persona, that while being a part of me, is nowhere near the entirety of myself. I am more than this caricature that I show the world. This paper man is merely a part of me, he is not my whole. He's only one surface, and nothing more. It's frustrating sometimes, feeling like I'm never truly known by those around me - and it's not their fault, it's my own.
I am much more than the man I've let them think I am.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, just thoughtful at the moment. I still like my life, hell - I downright love certain portions of it. And I don't feel like no one knows me - just very few. And there are those who think they know me, who know very little. I mean, really, how often do I express my thoughts on God? I believe in a higher power, and I think about it constantly.
Most people would never know that. I mean, I seriously spend half my day thinking about how things could be a part of a greater plan, how interconnected things are with divinity, and how much faith it takes every day. But do I express that? Nope. Not one damned bit.
God damn, I'm weird.
Anyways, I'm sure that I'm boring you right now, and you've probably already glazed over... nodding off, or just thinking that for a movie I don't even own, I sure do talk about "Cannibal! The Musical" quite a bit. But, heck. What can I do? Well, probably build some weird web app, or keep fiddling with RoundCube for a while more...
...Yeah.
- Traegorn
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