Every year I seem to write an entry which is both a look back and a prediction of the upcoming year, so this year will be no different. Of course, looking back at those two posts will probably depress the hell out of anyone, but what the heck. I mean, that's the problem with putting your life online. It doesn't matter how much you change, the version of you from the past is perpetually present and there on display. I just reread a lot of that, and wow do I sound angsty...
2004 has seen me make significant changes, but you might not know it. In fact, I didn't even realize them until I sat down last night and reread several months of my blog. Maybe the "Year of Rebirth" was a bit of an overdramatic title, but I think that it at least was a year of change - albeit small ones that world may never notice.
I say that, because right now I'm typing this update on the same old, outdated laptop, sitting in the same room, with the same TV on (with an Aaron Sorkin written project on no less)... and in a few weeks I'm going to go back to the same university and take classes in the same degree program. But the person who I am has changed.
At least a little. I'm still a work in progress, but... progress was made.
It's hard to describe an emotional adjustment. It's hard to describe exactly how different my emotional reactions to an idea are or the way I deal with people. There are very few people who might understand, as one change I've made is many of the people who I surround myself with on a regular basis. Part of this was choice, part of this was neccessity... but other than those who have been in my inner circle for quite some time (Derek, Chris) most of those who are closest to me have been changed.
Heck, a year ago I hadn't even met Erika, if that gives you any idea.
I spent a good deal of last year remembering how to live on my own again though. I rediscovered parts of who I was that I'd forgotten, and while I'm still working on making them a part of me again, it's definitely different.
So, in anycase, here I am -- starting a new year. I had firm opinions about 2002, 2003 and 2004... but 2005 is a mystery to me...
...but as I have this compulsive need to name things, I shall have to decide an appropriate title. I shall declare 2005 the "Year of Vernacitude." What is Vernacitude, you ask? Why... I have no idea. I just made it up. See, it will mean whatever the year turns out to be. Is that cheating? You bet your ass it is. *grin*
Whatcha' going to do about it? Huh? What's that? Nothin'? That's what I thought.