I Should So Be Put In Charge Of Disney... Posted July 25, 2004 - 0:01:22
Tonight I bring you a chatlog between myself and my friend Vanessa (bylightoffire). I hope you enjoy reading it. All spelling errors have been left unaltered by they way, so no, I'm not going to fix them. I lie, I did fix an error or two... but who cares, eh?
Traegorn: Good luck on getting the monkeys. :-p
bylightoffire: :-P well, i'm not going to bid on the $300 one
Traegorn: Awww... come on - you have to show the commitment to the monkeys!
bylightoffire: i don't care if it *is* white jade
bylightoffire: my first priority is to get my three jade monkey set together as a family
Traegorn: Yay monkey family!
bylightoffire: oh man, my life has meaning
bylightoffire: finding the monkey family.
Traegorn: It could become an epic quest!
Traegorn: Like the search for el dorado or something. :-p
bylightoffire: hee hee
bylightoffire: man, if it becomes an epic quest, i want a bumbluy sidekick who makes me look graceful and heroic.
Traegorn: And in the Disney version it can be replaced by a talking animal or something. :-p
bylightoffire: a monkey.
Traegorn: That would be too easy.
Traegorn: How about a talking moose!
bylightoffire: ooo yes!!!
bylightoffire: but only if john goodman does the voice
Traegorn: What about Dan Akroyd?
bylightoffire: ooo perhaps
Traegorn: As long as it's not Louie Anderson... *shiver*
bylightoffire: oh goodness no
Traegorn: That would make me cry.
Traegorn: Who would voice you?
bylightoffire: that would make me vomit.
bylightoffire: my voice?
bylightoffire: kate hudson.
bylightoffire: because i said so.
Traegorn: Get Bernadette Peters or Leah Salonga to do the singing
bylightoffire: oh goodness, not bernadette peters
Traegorn: Why not?
bylightoffire: love her singing, but does she have to be so.....je ne sais quoi...in real life?
Traegorn: What do you mean?
bylightoffire: she just rubs me the wrong way
Traegorn: When did Bernadette Peters ever rub you? (Sorry, had to go for the horrible joke... it was right there)
bylightoffire: well see, there was this one time at choir camp....
Traegorn: hehe... we shall now extract this from the bad place that it has gone...
Traegorn: Where would the movie be set?
bylightoffire: well, we *do* have a talking moose to take into consideration...
Traegorn: I say the jungles of Peru!
Traegorn: Or the Sahara Desert!
bylightoffire: i think jungles of peru
bylightoffire: i'm not crossing a desert
bylightoffire: but i will use a machete
Traegorn: There should be a duet about Malaria in there somewhere
Traegorn: Malaria, oh what a disease, Malaria, Catch Yellow Fever if you please...
bylightoffire: only if j. patrick polley is one of the two singing
bylightoffire: it can be that the moose and i go to a nightclub to meet a stranger with information
bylightoffire: and the duet is playing in the background
Traegorn: You need a bad guy though -- it would be a good bad guy/bad guy side kick song.
bylightoffire: i personally thought that it would make a better romantic duet. you know, i'll take care of you if you take care of me, and then that darn ague we shall flee
Traegorn: See, I was thinking it would be a great "Singing about bad things happening to people" song. Hmm... how about Patrick Stewart playing an evil treasure hunter, who's trying to get to the monkeys first, and he sings it with his side kick Patcho -- a small swedish man voiced by Robin Williams...
bylightoffire: ooo i love patrick stewart as a villian. but i don't agree with your idea for the sidekick
bylightoffire: i think it should be a french vino.
Traegorn: Played by Jerry Orbach!
Traegorn: He was wonderful in the original cast recording of The Fantasticks
bylightoffire: ooo and the sidekick should be basically an ok person (to make the villian look even more evil); he just got mixed up with the wrong crowd.
Traegorn: With a stutter, to make him seem more helpless in the going-along-with-evilness
bylightoffire: you just read my mind. i was going to type that.
Traegorn: This could be the best Disney movie ever. :-p
Traegorn: Now we need to just pitch it to the mouse.
bylightoffire: this needs a title. something more dramatic than "Search for the Jade Monkey"
Traegorn: "La Noche De Los Monos: In Search of the Jade Monkey" maybe?
bylightoffire: a spanish title?
Traegorn: Well, it takes place in Peru
bylightoffire: oh yeah