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Okay, so this is something I need to say.
Posted Jan 18, 2004 - 0:01:40

Normally, I update at the most once a day. This is because I only display one entry at a time on the mainpage, and lots of people don't bother looking at the current entry listing on the left. But I needed to say something that's fairly serious, so I've been forced to push this rather unimportant post off the mainpage. Read it if you're in the mood for something at least pretending to be entertaining. Read on if you feel like delving into something I take seriously.

I also will just get out of the way an announcement of a new section to the site. Again, if you want to see something funny, go there. The rest of this post will have a fairly serious tone.

How do I tell someone I care about that they're making a mistake? How do I tell them that what they're doing is potentially emotionally dangerous and unhealthy for them? What do I say?

I mean... two of my dearest friends are making, at least what I believe, to be a massive mistake, which could have massive consequences. And I don't know how to tell them.

It's not that I think it's morally wrong, not at all. And while it may be a societal taboo, it's not like they're breaking a law or anything. I don't think that it's a question of morals...

And I don't think any less of either one of them for making the choice that they have. They're both wonderful, fantastic individuals who I value as good friends.

But, I think that they're making a mistake. I think that it's something that could hurt both of them, very much.

How do I warn them though, without sounding like I'm making a moral judgement? How do I say something without sounding like I'm not respecting their decision? I mean, I feel like - as their friend - that I have to say something, and let them know what I think. As a friend, I feel obligated.

But, how do I say it, without sounding like I don't support them? I mean, I think it's a mistake, but it is their lives. It's their choice to make, not mine. Not everyone is going to fall in place with the idealized world I wish I lived in. I also don't want to drive a wedge between us. I've already slipped enough out of their lives as it is, I don't want to do something that could potentially drive them even further away...

So, to sum up, I think they're making a mistake. I don't think the action is morally wrong, and it's not going to get them into trouble, but I think that for these two particular individuals that it's a mistake that could emotionally hurt both of them. I want to tell them this, but I don't want to offend them, or to think that I'd be saying this out of anything other than concern for them both.

How the hell do I do this.


This is so god damned frustrating. I just don't know what to do. And I'm in no state to tell anyone anything right now. My temper is on hair trigger right now, as I have a busload of undirected rage without much of an outlet. I've figured out what's causing it, but it's not something that I can change at the moment, so even when I get some form of release (punching bag, working on stuff, whatever), the anger just continues to build again. I've accidentally taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it these last couple of days, and I'm not happy about that at all.

- Traegorn

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