|
Boy am I in a weird place right now. | |
Posted Dec 29, 2003 - 3:14:09
|
|
I feel weird. Just plain weird.
Feelings long buried are surfacing, memories long forgotten are becoming clear, and I feel torn between holding onto things past and moving forward...
There are some things that I thought I had let go of. I really did. And I mean, thought I had let go of a year ago. And then, poof-bang-whiz, I have a dream - and I'm left feeling awkward and weird. I mean, really, where the hell does my subconscious get off, reviving dead feelings...
I think it's just an echo though... brought by the resonation of my current emotional situation. I think my brain is grasping at straws to make sense of things... and coming up with some annoying, and often nonsensical emotional residues from situations long past.
So, I'm left with odd feelings in my gut, which follow me all day, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Geaarrraaccchhhh....
Okay, so yeah. In other news, we (my immediate family) drove down to Chicago to see my Aunt Diane and her husband Greg. They're great people, really. I got to hear about all of the really screwed up stuff that happened at the massive family Christmas party -- which I thankfully got to avoid. Yes, let's see what happens when we get a bunch of crazy and disfunctional people and get them in the same room... and then, better yet, get them liquored up on lots of gleg... Yeah... it's better than the movies. Or at least, it is if you don't have to remember that you share a good number of chromosomes with these people...
In any event, good fun was had tonight by all.
I don't know... weirdness reigns in my life. There's a lot lately that has left me emotionally raw. I feel both happy and sad simultaneously, and some times I just feel all ripped up inside. Ugh. I just don't know what to do... oi.
- Traegorn
|
