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Alive again. Finally. | |
Posted Dec 12, 2003 - 9:58:27
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Note: I'm poor, I need money to eat. If you can spare a $1, $3, $5, whatever -- I would appreciate it so I can make my next webhosting payment, and hopefully my phone-bill too.So, last night, I hung out with Erin, and we had a long talk.
It ran the full gamut of emotion for me, from sad, to angry, to relieved, to happy. It was a good thing.
And last night, for the first time since Erin and I broke up, I didn't feel sad when I went to bed. I'm not saying I was Mr. Happy Happy Joy Joy - but I wasn't sad.
Will Erin and I ever get back together? Who knows. I'd like us to, but that's just hope. No, there's a very good chance that she and I will never be together again -- and I think I'm finally adjusting to that possibility. I'm not a fan of it, but it's something that I feel I've come to terms with living with.
That's life, eh?
Right now, I choose realistic hope. It exists as a possibility, but nothing more than that. I'm not going to pine away, or expect something to happen. I'm just going to hope it will.
Sigh. I'm still a bit melancholy, but that sure beats the way I've been feeling lately. I expect that in a week I'll be fun-angsty, and in a month or two, I'll be right as rain. I feel like myself today, like my emotional range has returned. I can feel something other than sad again, and it's nice.
I feel alive again.
- Traegorn
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