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Bored in the lab... and the weekend...
Posted Mar 10, 2003 - 21:33:53

Addendum March 11, 2003 - 2:07am - Apparently, Max Skibinski, a guy who I'm none to fond of having a conversation with Chris in front of is coming too... goddammit... so, now things get even *more* complicated

So, if you read Faery's (Heather's) Blog, then you already know that Chris (Winchester) is coming up for the weekend. Heh.

This is all so surreal. I mean, that's really all I can really say. People have said to me, "You keep saying you're okay with this, but you keep talking about it..." and the like, but I think it's because they don't understand WHAT I'm okay with. I'm okay with the fact that Chris is dating Heather - yeah. That honestly isn't the issue anymore. The issue is that I am not the center of attention. How f***ed up is that? I mean, I'm just jealous that I am not the main attraction for both of them. See, usually, when Chris visits Eau Claire, it's to see me. It used to be that Heather only knew Chris, well, through me. Now, Chris and I are going to get together while he's in town - but I am not the main attraction. Honestly, I think I'm a little more jealous that Heather will be getting his attention, and not me.

Why? Because I've already had to deal with the fact that my position has changed in the Heather-verse. I mean, that's what I've spent the last two months adjusting to. This thing with Chris though, that's new. That's what I have to deal with. Meh, I'll be okay - but I'm mostly getting angsty because I'm not sure what my reaction is going to be until it happens. Well, I know what it'll be - it's just how strong it will be which is the question. No, don't worry, it's not anger, or anything that would cause bodily injury to Chris (Although, that might just happen for fun... kidding). Meh. I just need to confront this head on, and then I'll be fine.
- Traegorn

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