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I still think this is funny...
Posted Sep 28, 2001 - 4:29:18

A while ago, I had a rather fun conversation with someone in my IRC room. I'm MrSquiggles by the way...

I call it, "The Duck Effect"

MrSquiggles> Nonsense words are all good and fun, but they aren't conversation.
femlow> well then think of a conversation
femlow> a subject
MrSquiggles> Okay: How many ducks can you fit in a minivan?
femlow> 182
MrSquiggles> Let me be more specific, a 1994 Aerostar.
femlow> what size ducks
femlow> ?
MrSquiggles> Last time I tried I got 213 in. Unfortunately, I only got 15 out. Now, I didn't kill any ducks mind you, it's just that when you gather too many ducks in one place, they create a bizarre electromagnetic field that warps space time, creating a temporal vortex. Most likely the ducks will emerge in the year 2237, on the Second Tuesday of October, somewhere off the coast of Long Island.
femlow> hmm...
MrSquiggles> The Duck Effect, as it's called, is also used by the United States Government to power Stealth Go-carts they have developed for Suburban Warfare.
femlow> hmm...
femlow> but by the time the go carts re emerge wont the be totally outdated
femlow> ?
MrSquiggles> No no no, the Field only alters time directly if uncontrolled. The Go-Carts move around by only leaving a small foothold in current space time. In fact, all the observer would see is a duck flying around at ground level, until the armed go-cart popped out.
femlow> hmm...
femlow> how is it that people discovered this?
MrSquiggles> By trying to stuff Ducks into Aerostar minivans.
femlow> oh
femlow> ok
femlow> who was it that dicovered this? you?
MrSquiggles> No, the Canadians.
femlow> why were they trying to stuff ducks into the mini van in the first place?
MrSquiggles> What else is there to do in Canada besides stuff ducks into Minivans?
femlow> well...
femlow> I'd think they could find something
MrSquiggles> In fact, it was famous Canadian Scientist Renaud Q. L'Canadia whose life's work was to find a cleaner, safer, and more fuel efficient alternative to Hockey who stumbled across the phenomena. Unfortunately his triumph was short lived, as his head was accidentally sent a week ahead in time to Bulgaria.
femlow> hmm...
femlow> does it need to be a cirtain amount of ducks?
MrSquiggles> It's related to the number of ducks within a radius of space - however, the energy can be tapped from just a single duck if the proper technology is implemented.
- Traegorn

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